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  • Writer's pictureJim Hostler

The Hidden Costs of Tolerance

In our daily lives, tolerance is often hailed as a virtue. We are encouraged to tolerate differences, discomforts, and even disruptions. However, tolerance often holds hidden costs that drain our energy, cause us to lose focus, direction, and clarity in our lives. Tolerating people and things that we find undesirable may also lead to additional costs... called incompletions. Also, ignoring, denying, suppressing, or repressing tolerances doesn't make them go away. Instead of allowing tolerances to control a part of your life, learning how to transform and transcend tolerances and incompletions in your life leads to being able to connect more, deeper and richer to your soul and intuition. This is the transformational shift to living your life true to your authentic self.

tolerance text printed over a country landscape

Tolerance, at its core, is the ability to endure something we find unpleasant or unacceptable. It is often seen as a sign of strength and maturity, a way to maintain peace and avoid conflict. However, when we look deeper, we find that tolerance is a passive acceptance of things that we should actively address.

When we tolerate something we are, in essence, allowing it to exist in our reality without challenging it. This can create a dissonance within us because our external reality does not align with our internal virtues and desires. We are living in discordant energy. This causes a drain on our energy. It also causes us to live, conscious of it or not, with internal conflict. It would be like listening to classical music with heavy metal music playing in the background, no harmoney found in this mixture!

For instance, if we tolerate a toxic relationship or a draining job, we are essentially denying our true desires for a healthier relationship or a more fulfilling career. This denial creates a gap between our current reality and our ideal self, leading to a sense of incompletion and dissatisfaction.

Tolerance is living with energetic blockage. When we tolerate something that drains us, we are allowing that negative energy to remain in our lives, creating a blockage in the flow of our own energy. This blockage can manifest as physical, emotional, or mental fatigue. It can cloud our judgment, reduce our motivation, and obscure our vision for the future. We might find ourselves stuck in a cycle of inertia, unable to move forward because we are weighed down by the things we are tolerating.

Allowing things and people we merely tolerate into our lives requires a significant amount of energy. We expend mental and emotional resources trying to manage the discomfort, rationalize our tolerance, and maintain a facade of peace. This constant effort diverts our energy away from more productive and fulfilling pursuits, causing us to lose focus on our goals and dreams.

When we are constantly managing our tolerance, we lack the clarity to see the bigger picture. Our direction becomes muddled as we are pulled in different directions by the things we tolerate. This lack of clarity can lead to confusion, frustration, and a sense of being lost.

Ironically, it is often more comfortable to remain in the discomfort of tolerance than to face it head-on. Confronting what we tolerate requires courage, honesty, and the willingness to embrace change. It means acknowledging that something in our lives is not working and taking the necessary steps to heal or complete it.

However, this process, though challenging, is ultimately liberating. When we confront and resolve the things we tolerate, we free up the energy that was previously tied up in maintaining the status quo. We regain our focus, clarity, and direction. Our sense of self becomes more aligned with our true values and desires, leading to a greater sense of completeness and fulfillment.

To move beyond tolerance, we need to engage in a process of healing and completion. This involves:

1. Awareness: Recognizing what we are tolerating and understanding its impact on our lives.

2. Acceptance: Accepting that these issues exist without judgment or denial.

3. Action: Taking proactive steps to address and resolve these issues. This might involve setting boundaries, seeking support, healing aspects of our past, forgiveness, and making significant changes in our lives.

By doing so, we can transform the energy of tolerance into a force for positive change. We can create a life that is more aligned with our true self, where our energy flows freely and our focus, direction, and clarity are restored.

Tolerance, while often seen as a virtue, has hidden costs. It drains our energy, obscures our focus, and creates a sense of incompletion in our lives. By confronting and resolving the things we tolerate, we can reclaim our energy, restore our clarity, and move towards a more fulfilling and authentic existence. It is time to move beyond mere tolerance and embrace the power of healing and completion


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