Anger. At first look, is an ugly emotion, with many ways to express it's ugliness. People lash out verbally and say things that hurt, cause emotional damage to others, and can end a relationship. The extreme is physical violence caused by a person not being emotionally capable of how to handle their anger.
Dealing with anger, with any emotion, is something we are not taught. Sad. We are human beings, not human doings, we have emotions but we are not our emotions. Most people today don't have the emotional IQ or maturity to handle their emotions. Instead of being with them, people repress them. Studies have shown that ~90% of all sickness (dis-ease) is caused by repressed emotions! God know I struggled for decades with the emotion of anger and the cost I have paid... !
Back to anger. First, anger is an emotion: e-motion. Energy in motion. As human's being capable of only two emotions, love or fear, anger falls into the bucket of fear. The ego loves anger. Anger is the way the ego seeks revenge, satisfaction, being right, and views anger as a way to survive. Anger can also live in the emotion of resentment.
The first thing to notice about anger, or said differently, when you become angry, you are perceiving an injustice. Something said or done you think is unjust and it trips your angry button on. But experiencing the emotion of anger puts you in the seat of choice point. Instead of reacting, allow the emotion to be. To run its course. Do not act on the emotion of anger! Neither do you repress it. Rather allow yourself to experience it. Be with it. Again, it is energy in motion. Allow the energy of anger to express itself, what is it wanting to tell you? Where in your body is the anger? Feel it.
When the charge of the anger has passed, you now have assess in how to deal with it. And how to deal with it is not from the same level of consciousness that you were in when you were angry! Well, you can react in anger but know the Law of Cause and Effect is always at work and whatever your angry about, if you react from the place of anger, you're just feeding the fire. You'll get more of what you say you don't want. That, I promise.
Give the anger time and space. Take as long as you need to here! When you can raise your consciousness, only then do you reflect on what anger wants to tell you. There is a lesson there, always! What's the lesson? If there is an injustice, choose from a place of your higher consciousness how to respond to the injustice versus reacting in fear from your little ego.
Dealing with anger is like building a muscle. If your angry button gets stomped on and you don't respond, great, your building your response button instead of habitually reacting. And you're building your emotional maturity. Ultimately, learning how to transform and transcend the emotion of anger is mastery.
Transforming and transcending anger lies in the wisdom of knowing there is no "out there". The only way you can become angry is because there is something within you that needs healing. Thank the other person for making you angry because they just gave you assess to a hurt deep within you that wants to come up and have a conversation about healing.
When you feel the emotion of anger happening in you, allow it. Give it space and time to talk to you... quite literally and feel where in your body it resides. Raise your consciousness and stand in front of a mirror and have a conversation with yourself reflecting on the wisdom the anger shared with you. What is your anger inviting you to heal? This is the domain of mastery. Your mastery of your life.
