What are you good at? Isn't that what life is all about? You find what your good at, a good job, a good profession, a good relationship, a good marriage, having good health, a good family, and that's "it", a level of success in life is to be good. You have arrived, you get to enjoy life at a certain level of beingness that eludes many. As an example, If you get a good job, your set for the rest of your life. Right?
Only today, the uncertainty we are living in no longer gives us the certainty of riding the wave of good through life. But let me take this in another direction. Good. Settling for good in life isn't good enough. If being good is good enough, why is there so much frustration, anxiety, sadness, resignation, resentment, competition, depression, a long list of things people use as addictions as a means of escaping? If you are experiencing resignation, sadness, or you have resorted to addiction as a means to escape, to find fulfillment by escaping, you are trapped in being measured by the world out there. The material, how much material success do you have, world? But if being good was truly fulfillment for you, your life would be one of prosperity in all areas of your life: happiness, joy, peace, being in the flow, and being an extension of love. Only through your harmony within will prosperity extend to your outer, material world, of what you have.
Resignation, sadness, frustration, a sense of non-fulfillment, escaping through addiction is a rub. A rub between your good life and honoring your gift, honoring what you came into this lifetime to express, to be, to enjoy. It is your soul speaking to you and you're not listening.
The wisdom of your soul. It knows and it is always speaking to you, always, 24/7/365. Intuition, dreams, hunches, synchronistic occurrences, or meeting someone when it wasn't "planned". There are no accidents in the multiverse! Or something said in a conversation that causes you to have an awareness, that only a moment ago you had no idea, no awareness.
Your soul is speaking to you and the message your soul has for you is to let you know what your gift is. It may, but likely won't be, what you are good at. And the first awareness about your gift is do not be attached to the material out-picturing of what it is! We measure virtually everything by our outer world. Material success. Not everyone came here to create Apple computers! We all, on this human journey, came with a gift to share. Experiencing being human is about being of service. How can you be of service in sharing your gift?
You say your stuck in not knowing what your gift is. This is your ego speaking to you. The ego is the saboteur. It is about getting past the egoic mind and listening to your God-Self. Meditation and journaling are two of the best ways to get into communication with your God-Self. Meditation gives you access to the still small voice. To the voice of your intuition. To hear "your calling". A journaling exercise I have found to be very powerful is to pick a question, "What is my gift?", for example. Now you write the question and do not take time to think... write the first thing that comes to mind. Write the same exact question again and do not take time to think... write the first thing that comes to mind. Do this exercise, same question, not taking time to think, answer, at least 12 times. An extremely insightful exercise!
Your body is also speaking to you. Is there an upset stomach? What's eating at you, not what you ate. Sore throat? What are you not saying? Frequent colds? Where's your confusion? Broken ankle? What are afraid of in your future, of walking into? Do you go through life constricted, shoulders rolled forward, where you can't breathe natural and deep... you're not taking in life, air! Or, something is said, you have a thought, and head-to-toe chills... that is communication from your soul!
Your mood, emotions, and body are to be listened to, as they have their gifts in communicating with you. Be still. Listen. Also, don't get stuck in the "this is it!" mentality. You may have an insight, a knowing, of your gift, "time to start playing the piano that I gave up when I was a kid because someone criticized me". And this is your gift and fulfills you at a soul level. Great. But often, what initially presents itself is the path of the gift, not the gift. This initial knowing will call you into actions that lead you further down your path. Honor, without attachment, where you begin. On a conscious level, we don't know what the multiverse has in store for us, what path of fulfilling our gift the multiverse has put us on.
The greatest gift you can ever give yourself is to know and honor the gift that you came into this lifetime to express. Mastery is honoring your gift with humility while showing up in your greatness.